I have had it all: a beautiful marriage, a loving family, friends I cherished, health, wealth, and my dream home in my dream state. I even had a paid-off red Wrangler—a gift from my husband. We were debt-free, had a solid retirement plan, and were responsibly planning for our future.
But we lost almost everything we had, except for our marriage and immediate family. Everything and everyone else is gone, despite “doing things right” and having a heart that truly loved everyone in my life (sometimes, we are not loved back).
Even with what most people saw as “success” and “having it all,” I faced numerous problems, health setbacks, and struggles that no one wanted to hear about or even cared about. I appeared strong and calm on the surface but longed for someone who genuinely cared about me just as I cared about them. I longed for a friend who wanted to spend time with me for who I am, not for what they could get from me.
I know that money comes and goes, and it is alarming how quickly it can vanish due to unforeseen catastrophic events or a series of them, which is what my family went through.
I have had a lot, and I have also had nothing. I have adjusted incredibly well to all the losses I have endured, but I confess that I still struggle with homesickness for my home state and my house in the mountains.
Can I ever get either of them back? Maybe I am not supposed to, even if it is what I desire.
Maybe it is not about returning to the comfort and familiarity of what I had, but about having the courage and personal growth to step outside my comfort zones, build something new, and choose to flourish in a place I would not have initially wanted to go.
Flourish, to me, means making the best of whatever situation I find myself in. It is a lesson I wish I had learned sooner.
I have found myself rebuilding from nothing – in a financial sense and in terms of relationships outside the one I have with my husband and immediate family.
Having it all, I believe, is not in having anything or anyone that can be lost, but in being at peace within, no matter what happens, and wherever you go as the circumstances of life continually challenge and change.
DH Darling 
Thank you for sharing! I think you may an amazing point and have done a lot of reflecting on your life… I think the struggles are meant to show us what true does matter to our soul and what is worth fighting for. Keep your peace at all costs! Embrace your marriage (as long as your partner is loving and is there for you of course… as you do the same for them). Thank you again for being brave and sharing your story! Best of luck finding your ending to your story.
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