I have not been known for my boundaries, but for my generosity and willingness to give more than one chance. Unfortunately, I could give both legs and ungrateful people would say it is not enough and be mad at me for keeping my arms.
My empathy has often led me into various troubles and has been detrimental to me, even when motivated by love and concern for others. This is why maintaining balance and setting boundaries are crucial.
I realize now that I do not matter to some people I care about. As difficult as it is to admit, some people do not care about me in return. I accept that.
One lesson I’ve learned from experiencing so much loss is understanding where I stand with people and whether they value me for who I am or just for what they can get from me.
It is not selfish to protect your time, resources, and energy. It is not selfish to believe you are worthy of a balanced exchange of energy. Sometimes that balance is found in gratitude, which ranks with love as the highest frequencies. If you are not even receiving that then it is time to reassess.
You cannot build a relationship with someone who shows no appreciation.
You cannot build a relationship with someone who is unwilling to communicate and have necessary conversations.
It is not your job to convince someone of how you should be treated. Basic decency should be a given.
Your job is to protect your heart, time, energy, resources, and boundaries.
The first step in loving yourself might be setting the boundary of a goodbye. That chapter is closed, you’ve learned from it, and it is time to let go with love and move into a new chapter – one in which you can still do for others while not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.
I know I won’t. The journey here was costly, and I was to blame for not learning the first or even the second time, but at least I finally learned.
DH Darling 